


Classy Girls

by Munarloth



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol, Bachelorette Party, F/M, I never knew I wanted petunia's hen party until I started writing it, Muggle AU, bc what's a bachelorette party without alcohol?, it's v cheesy bc I just wanted everyone to have a good time for once!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 12:30:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15751710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Munarloth/pseuds/Munarloth
Summary: Petunia Evans’s bachelorette party was officially an unmitigated disaster.Vaguely inspired by 'Classy Girls' by The Lumineers.





	Classy Girls

Petunia Evans’s bachelorette party was officially an unmitigated disaster. Her friends had tried to go for the whole nostalgia thing by having it at their favorite pub from when they were in school and had even bought sashes for everyone, and Lily Evans could have told you from the moment she’d heard the plans that nothing was going to go right. First of all, nostalgia never works - the slide is always smaller than you remember, the sugar powder candy is never quite as sweet as when you still had all your taste buds, and the drinks at your old favorite pub are  _ always _  more expensive than they were six years ago. Second of all, glittery sashes? Really? For Petunia Evans? She got her first junior pearls at 13 and never looked back; anything glittery was looked at with a wrinkled nose and a raised eyebrow, let alone a sash that she was meant to wear all night, and in  _ public _ , too.

There was still hope when they'd arrived at the pub; a band was setting up to play in a staged garden out a side door, and there were plenty of people milling about who Lily was sure would be willing to buy drinks for a pretty bachelorette and her friends. In spite of this promising setup, Petunia's Maid of Honor, Gina, had whisked them all into a private back room as soon as possible. Lily barely had time to get a drink at the bar first. She nursed it as long as she could, listening to the band's muffled sound war with the pop music being piped in through the speakers in the corner and watching Petunia's brow furrow, but her glass had been regretfully empty for the last half hour, despite the fact that someone - Gina, Lily thought - had been so sure that there was wait staff for drinks on the weekend. Ah, nostalgia.

Despite being the one who came up with the evening’s terrible plans in the first place, Gina did manage to be the first of Petunia’s friends to notice the look on her face. She was quick to elbow Lily in the ribs a bit harder than necessary and say “Go and get your sister another drink. The service here really is  _ awful _ , isn’t it? I don’t know what’s happened, they used to be so quick and attentive!”

None of the bars that Lily and her friends went to ever even had wait staff but she nodded, standing and smoothing her skirt. She glanced over at Petunia - she was really making a valiant effort to look like she was having a good time with her chattering, giggling friends, but there was a wrinkle between her eyebrows, and the drink on the table in front of her was still half full. Gin & tonic, it looked like, and Lily was pretty positive that Petunia hadn’t ordered a g&t in at least two years, but maybe it was another attempt of Gina’s whole nostalgia thing.

Lily made her way through the long, narrow building to the bar in the front room. There band's set seemed to have ended and the bar was swarming with people getting their second, third, and fourth beers before the next song started. Lily perched at the end of the counter, idly toying with the edge of her sash and people-watching as she waited for the bartender to notice her. She had just decided that she might be able to interest the girl two stools down in being pals for the evening when a flash of bright white caught the corner of her eye.

A tall man in glasses who looked to be about her age and who was dressed in a white oxford shirt and black trousers was edging past her to get behind the bar. “Thank god, finally,” Lily muttered under her breath and reached out, tapping the bar surface next to him. “‘Scuse me, can I get two Pimms’s cups?”

He jerked around at her request, looking more startled than Lily would’ve expected for a server taking an order. His eyes flickered over her, taking in her short black dress and bright pink sash, and his face split in an easy grin. “Awfully bold to ask for a drink without even letting me drop a terrible pickup line first, don’t you think?”

Her brow furrowed and one hand automatically planted itself on her hip. “Sorry, what?”

He leaned casually against the bar, smile still on his face, and ran a hand through his already messy hair. He looked vaguely familiar, but Lily was sure she’d remember having met him before and no one was coming to mind. “I admire you getting right to the point, I do, but you’ve at least got to give a bloke a chance to try first, yeah? Here, I’ve got one that suits - Come here often? You’ve got to be new to the area, I’d  _ definitely _  remember seeing you around before.” He ended with what he must’ve thought approximated a wink and Lily leaned back slightly, nose wrinkling against her will.

“Seriously, that’s really the best you’ve got? I’d expect with a job like this you’d have learned better than that. And speaking of your job, can I get those drinks, please?”

His eyebrows quirked in and he tilted his head to the side like Lily’s childhood dog used to do when it was confused. “My job?”

She was nearly jostled off her stool before she could respond, another guy in black and white pushing past both herself and the messy-haired monstrosity to the area behind the bar. “Sorry, sorry - James, where’s the beer? Come on, we go back on in 10 minutes!”

Lily looked back and forth between the men and made the connection in about three seconds, clapping one hand over her mouth as her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. “Omigod-I-thought-you-were-staff-I’m-so-sorry!”

He blinked, the casual grin sliding off his face uncertainly. “Erm, could you repeat that? Didn’t quite catch it.”

She shook her head, not willing to repeat her mistake out loud, but the second white shirt was already barking with laughter. “She thought you were a server! That’s so jokes, holy shit. How’d you get her thinking that?”

The first one shrugged, looking back to his friend and accepting the beer that was offered to him. “No idea, I came by and she just grabbed me and asked for a Pimm’s.” Lily didn’t think she could have felt more horrified, but she was wrong.

“You  _ grabbed _  him? That’s bold, I have to say.” The second one nodded in Lily’s direction, holding his own beer up in a mock toast before taking a swig.

She planted her elbows on the bar, hiding her face in her hands. She didn’t think she had ever muttered “oh my god” this many times at once in her life, and before she knew it the words were replaced with laughter that bubbled out of her uncontrollably. Luckily, her giggles were infectious and soon all three of them were laughing so hard they could barely breathe. She pressed one hand against her stomach and struggled to take deep breaths, wiping tears from her eyes carefully with her fingertips.

“I am  _ so _  sorry - I don’t think I’ve ever been this embarrassed in my entire life - this girl in my group said there used to be wait staff here and I just --” She dissolved into hysterical giggles again and the second man placed a beer down in front of her.

“It’s ok, Red. Drink up, I think you need it.”

She took what felt like a massive swig and glanced at the first man, her ‘server’. He had his glasses off in one hand and was wiping his eyes with the other, and his hair was standing up in all directions. He seemed completely amused by the entire situation, though she didn’t think that anyone who could come up with such a basic pickup line as his could find anything but hilarity in this situation anyway, so really she supposed she was lucky that this had happened with him and not anyone else.

She swallowed, took another sip, and swallowed again. “For the record, I did not  _ grab _  him. I just...tapped the bar to get his attention.” It occurred to her that, despite apparently  _ not _  being staff, both men were, in fact, standing on what would now be the wrong side of the bar. “What’re you doing back there if you don’t work here anyway?”

The messy one glanced at his friend, who shrugged in response, and the former answered. “The owner lets us get our own drinks when we play. I’m James, by the way, and this is Sirius.”

“Lily.” They shook hands all around and Lily edged more securely onto her stool, curling one hand around her glass.

James and Sirius both leaned comfortably against the counter, and Sirius gestured vaguely in her direction. “Hen party?”

Lily glanced down at her sash - she’d almost forgotten why she’d come up to the bar in the first place. “Oh, yeah, my sister, Petunia. They’re all in the back room.”

“What’re you doing out here, then?”

“Gina sent me to get drinks. She’s the one who thought there was staff - apparently they all used to come here when they were in school, and I guess things were a bit different then. I could’ve told them it wouldn’t turn out like they thought, but nobody asked me.”

“Didn’t you plan it?” James’s head was cocked to the side again, and he too pointed at Lily’s sash.

She gripped the edge between two fingers, wrinkled the fabric a bit, and then dusted the glitter off - ‘SISTER OF THE BRIDE’ really did take up too much space and the fact that she had the most letters out of everyone meant that she would probably never get all of the glitter off of her dress. “Nah, I just showed up. I’m, erm, not actually in the wedding.” She lifted her beer for another sip and was surprised to find the glass empty.

James and Sirius exchanged a glance and Sirius was quick to replace her empty glass with a full one. “Less responsibility then!" Now that was something Lily could drink to, and did.

"I should still bring her a fresh drink though, and if you're back there anyway…?" She forewent beseeching and sweet and went straight for a toothy grin and a wink for Sirius, who laughed, shaking his head.

"It was Pimm's, right?"

"Yeah - all of this is on Evans, by the way, if you have a way to note that?"

James waved her off as Sirius mixed the drink. "Nah, don't worry, you're fine."

"Are you sure?" Lily glanced down towards the bartender, who hadn't looked their way once since she got there.

"Absolutely." Sirius set the glass on the bar and a third white shirt, this time sandy haired, rushed up to them.

"We're back on in five, get a move on!"

"Okay, okay, we're coming!" James shoved the new boy's shoulder good-naturedly and chugged the rest of his beer. He reached out and tapped Lily's glass, close to her fingers. "Go get your friends out of the back, it doesn't sound like you're all having much fun."

Lily rolled her eyes and snorted. "You have no idea."

"We've gotta go, but here, take these." Sirius set a tray full of tequila shots on the bar and rushed out from behind, shoving James forward and rustling Lily's hair as he passed. "If that doesn't get the party started, nothing will. See you out there, Red!"

James waved jerkily, grinning, then they were lost in the crowd. Lily blinked between her half full beer and the tray of tequila shots, mussing her hair back into something a little more intentionally in disarray. Sirius was right - if this didn't get Petunia on track to having a good time, nothing would. She shrugged to herself and chugged the rest of her beer - besides, tequila shots were some nostalgia that Lily could  _ definitely _  get behind.

She silently gave thanks for her years waiting tables at university as she walked back to their room, balancing the tray on one hand and carrying Petunia's drink in the other. She nudged the door open with her foot, and not a moment too soon - the group inside had quieted somewhat, and more than one girl was scrolling on her phone. Gina was desperately plying Petunia with upbeat chit chat and gossip, to no avail - the bride-to-be had one of the worst expressions of absolute disgust and misery on her face that Lily had ever seen, and she had seen plenty of them. She plastered the biggest grin onto her face that she could and entered the room shots first.

"Hello ladies, are we all having a good time?" This was met with mixed reviews, so she quickly moved on. "Well you're about to be - a lovely gentleman at the bar has kindly supplied us with a round of shots! The band out front is about to start their next set, so I say let's throw these back and get out there and have some fun!"

Gina spluttered a bit but rushed forward to take the tray, and Lily kept her eyes fixed on her sister, who looked more relieved to see her than Lily would have expected. She edged around the room to Petunia's seat, set the Pimm's down on the table, and grabbed two shots from the tray as it passed in their direction. "A chaser for the bride."

"You know I don't take tequila shots anymore, Lily," Petunia huffed, but she accepted both the shot and the drink gratefully.

"Yeah, I know, but we're going for nostalgia, right?"

The Evans sisters accepted the passed salt shaker, cheersed with the rest of the girls, and took their shots with as much dignity as they could muster. The party picked up pretty quickly after that, and Lily ushered the group out toward the front of the building. They weren't long in the main bar area before someone noticed Petunia's sash and bought her a drink, and she soon looked like she was loosening up. Gina's face fell as Petunia's brightened, and Lily slung an arm around the other girl's shoulders, pushing a beer into her hands.

"Gina, I'm so glad you picked this pub!"

Gina looked shocked and suspicious, but sipped the drink. "You are?"

"Absolutely - the back room was a great warmup, and I think Petunia's really going to have fun here tonight. You did a great job planning."

"Thanks," Gina grinned, flushing slightly, and soon seemed to be having as much fun as the rest of her friends.

Lily drifted to the back of the gaggle of bridesmaids as they made their way out into the garden to listen to the band, and Petunia slipped in beside her, linking their arms and passing what must've been her fourth free drink into Lily's other hand. "I heard what you said to Gina. That was nice of you."

Lily shrugged, sipping the drink, her cheeks pinking. "I just want everyone to have a good time. This is your night, Petunia."

Her sister nodded slightly, keeping her attention on the band as they ended a song. "Thank you."

Lily tried to keep her surprise off her face and Sirius took note of the group entering the crowd before she could respond. He leaned in to James's mic and shouted "Hey everyone, let's have a cheer for the lovely bride-to-be!" The crowd looked around, cheering and clapping whether they spotted Petunia or not, and Sirius beamed. "Now, I expect for all of you to make sure that none of these ladies have an empty hand tonight, alright? You see a pink sash, you give her a drink!"

James rolled his eyes but smiled and shoved Sirius back, reclaiming his position in front of the microphone. "Yes, congrats, uh, Petunia? I hope you and all of your friends have a great time tonight!" Lily was sure that he had found them in the crowd and she grinned, waving. He waved back and counted into the next song.

Petunia immediately tugged her elbow, her brow tightening. "How do you know them? How do they know me?"

"Relax, I met them at the bar on their break earlier - they're the ones who sent the shots. I actually mistook them for staff, it was awful!"

"Oh, Lily!"

"No, it was funny, really, we all got a laugh out of it. And we got free drinks, so really, where's the harm?"

"If you say so."

"I do say so, now come on, let's dance!" Lily bounced on the balls of her feet, shaking her hair in time to the music and waving Petunia's hand in the air. She was shocked when Petunia gave in and bobbed to the beat with her, and the sisters grinned at each other. They danced their way through the crowd, making it up close to Sirius's side of the stage by the middle of the song.

James glanced in their direction more than once, and Lily could’ve sworn he tried to wink again. She was just thinking how striking his darker skin would look next to her own pale complexion when Petunia noticed the looks he threw their way.

“Oh no, Lily, you can’t be serious.”

Lily bristled, preparing herself for what was surely to come next. “And why not?”

“Classy girls don’t kiss in bars, and you can't bring boys home from the pub, you just  _ can’t _ .”

Eyebrows raised, Lily almost laughed.

“I could never be as classy as you, Pet - just look how fit he is.”

“You know I’m getting married next week.”

“Oh I’m sorry, I forgot that marriage also struck you blind for the rest of your life, my bad.”

Petunia rolled her eyes but did give James an appreciative look-over. “Just because he’s attractive doesn’t mean you should be a slag.”

“I think that’s exactly what it means.” She laughed, reasonably sure that it wouldn’t turn into an argument. They were unexpectedly on the same page about most things that night; it was the longest they’d gone in each other’s company without really arguing in months. It was probably just the alcohol, but Lily didn't care as long as they were both having a good time.

The song came to an end, and Sirius again leaned into the mic. "Any requests from the hen party?"

Lily let out a burst of shocked laughter when Petunia waved both hands in the air, sloshing half of her drink out, and yelled "Despacito!"

James also burst out laughing and the sandy haired drummer rolled his eyes as a massive grin slowly spread across Sirius's face. "Whatever the bride wants!" And to Lily's absolute, complete surprise, the boys counted in and actually started playing Despacito.

The crowd laughed and danced, and Lily figured that she really shouldn't be surprised to learn that Sirius apparently spoke - sang - perfect Spanish, as she really didn't know anything about him at all other than that he was liberal with giving away drinks. Petunia was thrilled, singing along with at least the vocal melody and dancing next to Lily. Her friends had all gravitated to Petunia by the middle of the song, and Lily gathered that this was one of "their songs". She bowed out to the edge and smiled to see her sister having so much fun. She then locked eyes with James and couldn't help but laugh at the enormous smile on his face - clearly he was enjoying himself as much as Petunia was. Come to think of it, Lily was having much more fun than she had expected, and she matched James's grin as she toasted him from the crowd.

Lily finished another drink, dancing with abandon and smiling at James through each new song, before Gina appeared at her elbow. "Lily, I think Petunia's had enough - we should probably go."

Closer to the stage, Lily could see Petunia swaying with the music, a dazed look on her face. Lily sighed, eyes softening as she smiled at her older sister. "Yeah, you're probably right. Can you - uh - can you get the other girls? We'll all meet out front?"

Gina nodded, and Lily made her way forward through the crowd. She took Petunia's hand, sliding in behind her and rolling her hips into her sister's rear. Petunia jerked away, spinning around. "Who - Lily! Lily what are you doooing? You - I - you can't like that! I'm," she giggled, trying to keep her face cross. "I'm a married lady!"

"You're not quite married yet - we ought to go home so we can all go to bed and then you'll be one day closer to being married, how does that sound?"

Petunia nodded vigorously, nearly spilling drink number - well, number Lily wasn't sure, which meant it was number too many. She relieved Petunia of the cup and guided her to the rest of the group.

She took one last glance back at the stage as they went inside; James was looking right at her as he sang. She waved, he winked, and she was gone. Petunia got what she wanted - Lily certainly wasn't kissing anyone, let alone taking anyone home. They would all go home classy tonight.

* * *

Lily awoke slowly the next morning. Drunk Lily had provided for Sober Lily by drinking a full glass of water before bed, but unfortunately for Hungover Lily, that meant that the glass on her nightstand was empty. She took a moment to steel herself, then eased out from under the covers and made her way to the bathroom. She brushed her teeth and drank as much water as she could stomach before returning to her duvet cocoon.

She felt better the next time she woke up, better enough to pull her phone into the covers with her and check last night's notifications. She had already been tagged in several instagram posts and she scrolled through, liking every one. There was even a post from Petunia. Several group shots, one with Gina plus one of the two sisters smiling together that Lily didn't remember posing for, captioned with " _ Thank you to all of the girls who came out last night, I couldn't have planned a better party myself. Can't wait to be Mrs. Dursley! _ ".

Lily liked the post, then slowly scrolled back up to the location tag that Petunia had included. She tapped the screen, and within ten minutes had found profiles for both James and Sirius. She took a drink of water and grinned to herself. Maybe the next time she left the pub, she wouldn't be so classy.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://munarlothhp.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> Despacito is dedicated to Kaitlyn.


End file.
